You, Me, and Forever (Blushing)

“You fly out tonight?” Charlie asked at the construction site.

“Yep. In a few hours. I just wanted to make sure things were still rolling over here.”

“Mm-hmm. I talked to Connor, and he said this is the longest you’ve ever stayed anywhere. And you’ve done larger projects than the Seaside Inn.” He smirked.

“Is there a fucking point to this?” I grumped. I’d been off all day after Montana and I had returned from Banff.

I’d lain awake all night last night, watching her sleep.

Her words an echo in my mind. Permanently etched there forever.

I love you, Myles St. James.

How did I let it go this far? I wasn’t the man she wanted. The man she needed.

The man she fucking deserves.

She was caught up in this romantic fantasy we’d been living.

It wasn’t real life.

It was temporary.

The thought of hurting her killed me. It was the reason that I normally didn’t allow myself to go this deep. Because I wasn’t capable of the kind of love that she deserved. Not long term.

I’d fail her. I’d hurt her. I would not be that man.

I will not be my father.

Taking her away was a fucking mistake. Spending three days wrapped around one another.

What the fuck was I thinking?

“My point is—you could have left three weeks ago, once the foundation was poured. I think you stayed for a different reason.”

“I thought you were a man of few words. Since when are you so fucking chatty?”

“Just saying. Do you normally do romantic weekend getaways when you’re on a jobsite?” Charlie arched a brow.

“I hope Harper makes you read Pinkalicious to her every single day for the rest of your life.”

He laughed. “Hey, man, if you can’t take the truth, just say so.”

“I can take the truth, asshole. I know what this is. She knows what this is. It was just a little getaway to say goodbye. It’s been great, and now—it’s over.”

“I know you like to keep things casual, dude. But is this your idea of casual? Hell, I like casual. That usually entails dinner, a cocktail, a little small talk, and maybe good sex if things are going well. That’s it. I don’t typically hang out with my casual hookups for months on end and then travel together. That’s just not normal. But maybe it’s a big-city thing.” He smirked, knowing that it wasn’t a big-city thing.

I’d fucked up.

Made this harder for her.

Made it harder for myself, if I was being honest.

I didn’t know, because I’d never done this before.

I wasn’t used to doing the simple things with someone the way I did with Montana. Cooking dinner together. Window-shopping and running errands. Grabbing lunch most days. Drinking our coffee together in bed. Making vision boards and watching movies and slow dancing in the kitchen.

How the fuck had I let things get this complicated?

“Listen, we’ve had a great time.” I cleared my throat.

“And you really don’t think you’ll keep in touch? I don’t know, man. You seem kind of attached.”

“Shut the fuck up. I’m a busy man. I offered to keep in touch, and she turned me down. She doesn’t want a guy that she sees twice a year and talks to occasionally. She wants to go cold turkey, or she doesn’t think she’ll move on if we don’t cut things off.”

I love you, Myles St. James.

She wasn’t the first woman to say those words to me. Hell, there had been a few over the years. But they hadn’t hit me like this. They’d come out of nowhere. They’d just felt like words being thrown out for a reaction.

Montana’s words felt real.

They caused her pain to admit, because she knew I couldn’t say the words back.

“Well, I get that. And she’s the kind of girl that’s going to get snatched right up. Hell, half the guys in this town have had their eye on her since she and Phillip broke up. She didn’t seem to jump back into the dating pool after he left, but maybe you were the perfect rebound guy to help her to move forward.” He clapped me on the shoulder. “Maybe you did some lucky bastard a big favor.”

“Fuck you, Charlie,” I said.

I didn’t want to think about some dirty fucker touching her.

I couldn’t fucking handle the thought.

He laughed. “Yeah. That’s what I thought. Good luck with that, Myles. I’ll be here when you want to cry in your fucking old-fashioned about what an idiot you were to walk away.”

“Hey,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m the one who wanted to stay in touch. She turned me down.”

He chuckled again. The dude had never laughed this much in all the months I’d known him, and it was pissing me the hell off. “Let me get this straight. You hang out with the girl every day for months. You take her to meet your family. You take her on a romantic weekend getaway right before you leave. And you think offering to talk on the phone every couple of weeks or months, and fly in for a booty call twice a year, is a fabulous offer? I can’t imagine why she turned you down.”

I shrugged. “It’s the first time I’ve ever offered it. I don’t usually push to stay in touch, Charlie. But she’s different.”

“No shit, Sherlock. And I think you actually like that she isn’t agreeing to your offer, because I think even you know that she deserves better.”

“I don’t doubt that she deserves better. But I’m a selfish man, Charlie. I want to know how she’s doing. I want to see her when I can. I’m a busy man—that’s the best I can do.”

“Bullshit. We’re all busy, Myles. You’ve got more money than you know what to do with. You could have made her a much better offer than that.”

“Says the guy who doesn’t date. Glass fucking houses, asshole.”

“Correct. I don’t date. Been there. Done that. I’ve got a little girl to answer to at home. That is my priority. But if I found someone that I couldn’t get enough of, you bet your ass I’d do something about it. I’m sure as hell not looking, but I’m also not a dumb shit, and if I found it, I wouldn’t insult the woman with a lame-ass offer.”

I narrowed my gaze. “It was not a lame-ass offer.”

“Well, you may be used to women who are cool with just going to dinner with you, or getting wined and dined, and that’s enough for them because they like the money. What you’re offering works for them. Montana isn’t that girl, and you know it. And I think that’s why you’re drawn to her. She’s different. She’s real. She’s genuine.”

“What the fuck, Charlie. Sounds like you want to date her.”

“And if I did?” he said with a smirk.

“I’d tell you to dig a hole out by the lake before I beat you senseless and buried your fucking body there.”

He laughed hard. “Relax, buddy. Montana’s more like family. I’m not looking to date her. But that response is real interesting for such a casual guy.”

“Hey, I’m not denying that I care about her.” I blew out a strained breath. “How about you help me out and keep me posted on how she’s doing?”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t hold your breath. I’m hardly one who pays attention to town gossip.”

“Fine. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. The plan was always to leave. It’ll blow over. I’ll head back to the city, and I’ll be buried with work. I won’t have time to think of anyone once I start this next project.” It was the truth. And it was the way I liked it.

“You’re a smart dude. I think you’ll figure it out.”

“Exactly. I’m not worried about it. This is the way I live my life. That didn’t change after spending a few months here. Plus, I’m over that fucking moose and the porcupine. I’m ready for the chaos of the city. Horns blasting, people flipping one another the bird when they get in their way, the world’s best coffee.”

“I don’t know, Myles. Once you’ve been here, it’s tough to leave.”

“Says the dude who has lived here his entire life.”

“Like I said, it’s hard to leave.”

“Myles,” someone called, and I turned around to see Daniel Kingsley walking my way. “You got a minute?”

Charlie leaned in and whistled near my ear. “I’m guessing your future father-in-law is coming to kick your ass.”

“Of course. I’ll be right there,” I called out as he stopped to say hello to a few guys on the crew. I turned back to Charlie. “I’ll be in touch. Thanks for everything, Charlie.”

He clapped me on the shoulder and pulled me in for one of those half bro hugs that guys do. “Fine. I’ll keep you posted on your girl, you big pussy. It’s been nice hanging with you, brother.”

“Don’t get sappy. I told you I want you to come to New York. You can bring Harper with you. I’ve got plenty of room at my place. You’re always welcome.”

I didn’t make offers like that lightly. I kept my circle small for a reason. But Charlie Huxley had become someone that I considered a friend.

“Count on it. Once we get this hotel up and running, we’ll take a trip out your way. She’ll like that.”

I nodded before turning to walk toward Daniel.

“Hey, Daniel. I was going to come say goodbye to you before I head out of town tonight.”

“I appreciate it. Just wanted to catch you and see if we could talk for a minute,” he said before clearing his throat and glancing around as if he was looking for a place to sit.

“Why don’t we grab a quick bite at the Brown Bear Diner,” I said. I was anxious to get over to Montana’s house before I left in a few hours, but I respected her father, and if he wanted to talk, I wouldn’t say no.

“Sounds good.”

We walked across the street and decided on the booth in the back. We ordered a few appetizers, and we got a couple of sodas.

Once our drinks were set down, he let out a breath. “Listen, Myles. I appreciate everything you’ve done for Montana, with the Murphy Ranch.”

“It was a business deal. We’re partners. She’s going to do big things with it.” I shrugged, reaching for my drink and then taking a sip.

“I’ve noticed that you spend a lot of time together. Hell, everyone in town knows something’s been going on. You’d have to be blind not to. She said she went on a little getaway, and I noticed you were gone as well.” He held up his hands to stop me from trying to make something up. I wasn’t used to speaking to the father of the women I was hooking up with. This was a first. “I’m not here to judge. It’s none of my business what’s been going on. You’re both grown-ups, and I like you, Myles. I really do.”

We paused when the server set a plate of wings and sliders down in front of us. Delilah gave me a sympathetic look as if she knew this was an awkward conversation.

“I’m guessing you didn’t bring me here to tell me how much you like me,” I said, reaching for a slider, even though I wasn’t fucking hungry. I had a pit in my stomach, and I’d been feeling off all day. I’d probably caught some shitty bug right before I needed to get home and get my ass to work.

“Yeah, I’ve got some concerns.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t get involved in Montana’s personal life, hence the reason I never told her that I didn’t care for that little punk Phillip. She never seemed all that happy, but who am I to judge? I haven’t had a solid relationship since Montana was born. She’s been my focus, and sure, I’ve dated, and I’ve got a lady friend I spend a lot of time with now, but my focus has always been my little girl.”

“And you’ve raised an amazing woman,” I said. “And I think Phillip is an asshole too. So I’m glad she got away from him.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

“But you’re worried that I’m going to hurt her?” I finally said, because I could tell he was uncomfortable.

“Not intentionally. And I’ve got to tell you, I’ve never seen her as happy as she’s been since you came to town. These last few months, I don’t know, she’s lighter. More confident. She laughs all the time.” He sighed. “But I know you’re leaving tonight. And I really do appreciate everything you’ve done for her and for me. Hell, for everyone in this town, with all the jobs you’re going to be bringing to Blushing. But if you aren’t going to be sticking around, then you need to leave and not look back, Myles.”

For fuck’s sake.

No one wanted me to keep in touch with her.

My God. Was I the fucking devil?

“She’s already made it clear that when I leave, she doesn’t want to continue speaking, even though we’ve become really good friends,” I said.

Hell, Montana Kingsley was the best friend I’d ever had. I’d never shared as much with anyone or opened up the way I had with her.

“Listen, Myles. I’ve been in a relationship with someone who wasn’t invested the way that I was, and I lost a lot of time waiting around. And my daughter deserves someone who wants to be there. Who makes her their priority. And I’m sure you two have been up front and honest about whatever the hell has been going on, but I’m asking you, man to man—if you’re leaving with no intention of coming back more than once or twice a year, don’t string her along. I see the way she looks at you. And I can’t stand the idea of her being hurt. So right now, no one has done anything wrong. You’ll leave, and she’ll be stoic and strong for everyone like she always is, and probably cry when she’s alone like she used to do as a kid. She never let me see her cry because she once told me she’d rather hurt alone than hurt me.” He shook his head and blew out a breath, looking away for a few beats before turning his attention back to me. “Maybe you’ll hurt a little too. But everyone will recover eventually. But if you drag this out. If you call her or visit every few months and string her along. You and I will have a problem. I don’t care if you own the business I’m going to be working at. I will kick your ass without hesitation.”

I raised a brow. He was a fairly big dude. Somewhat fit. But there was no world where Daniel Kingsley was going to kick my ass, unless I just threw my hands up and let him do it.

And if I was being honest, I would let him kick the shit out of me if I hurt her.

Hell, I already had.

And the idea of Montana crying in her house alone—it did something to me.

Something I had no idea how to deal with.

“I understand, Daniel. I want the best for her. I, er, I . . .” I couldn’t find the words I needed to say. “I care about her a lot. She’s somehow become my favorite person. But I know that what I have to offer isn’t enough for her, and I’ll respect it.”

“Thank you. I really didn’t want to drag your ass out back and kick the shit out of you.”

I smirked. “I appreciate that.”

My phone vibrated, and I glanced down at the text from his daughter.

Honey Badger: Hey. I know you were going to swing by and say goodbye on your way to the airport, but I’m not feeling well. I’ve got a fever, and I don’t want to get you sick, if I haven’t already. So, I think it’s best you don’t come by.

I blew out a breath and told Daniel that she was sick.noveldrama

“She’s protecting herself. You just spent three days with her. I’m sure you’ve both said your goodbyes in your own way. Don’t make this harder for her than it has to be.”

I nodded. A sharp pain hit my stomach, and I cleared my throat. “All right. But I’m going to order her some soup and bread and just drop it on her porch on my way out of town.”

I called Delilah over and placed an order to go.

“Myles,” he said, his voice quiet. “I’ll take it over to her. You should just head to the airport from here.”

I agreed, and he excused himself to use the restroom as I paid the bill.

I quickly typed out a text.

Me: I’m sorry you’re sick. I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye. I’m sorry if I’ve made this hard on you.

I thought of the song she loved. Those words flooded my head at the moment. I knew I shouldn’t say anything, but she’d put herself out there and told me that she loved me. I owed her more than what I’d given her.

She knew what my words meant.

That I was a coward, incapable of loving her the way she deserved.

That sick feeling in my stomach lingered as I handed Daniel the bag of food to take to his daughter.

And when I boarded the plane home, I stared out the window and hoped the feeling would pass.

I just needed to get back to my routine.

Back to my way of living.

Once I was home, I would stop thinking about Blushing, Alaska.

About her.