Chapter 1010
"I'm saying," Midnight says, freely crying now, cupping Jesse's face in her tiny hands. "That I – I don't want to have your pups, Jesse. Ever. Ever. I don't want them." She shakes her head, vehement. "I think I'd be a bad mom. I'd leave them at the grocery store and forget they were there. I - I just don't want it."
He swallows hard, listening as she spills out her truth.
"And I don't want to kiss you," she continues, her little chin shaking as she stares up at him with her wide dark eyes. "And it's not that you're not handsome -"
He smirks a little at this, making her laugh. She smacks his cheek lightly with her palm. "You stop that, I'm being serious here -"
He does his best not to smile and nods, letting her know he's listening, intently. To all of it.
"Jesse," she says, sighing hard, her shoulders slumping. "I don't want to be your mate. I don't want to do the romantic stuff. I love you so, so much but...all of that?" she says, tossing out a hand to encompass the whole world. "I want that more. I want to be free. I don't want to be tied."
"I would never try to tie you, Mids," Jesse says, lifting a hand to stroke over her hair. "Being a mate - it's not like that -"
"I know," she whispers. "But I just...I waited my whole life to find you. And I wish..." her voice breaks now as she hangs her head, shaking it. "I wish I'd had a choice. I wish I'd had more freedom. I wish I'd had...more. And now I've got it - I've got everything at my feet - all the world, all the possibilities. And I want...that."
"Mids," Jesse says, his voice breaking with his heart. She lifts her head and cries harder when she sees him crying too. "You might...you might change your mind. You might not always feel this way."
"I don't want to ask you to wait for me," she whispers. "And I don't want to live my life by 'maybes' and 'somedays' anymore. I want...just me, in charge of me, making whatever weird choices I want, without worrying about who they affect and who wants me to choose what. I never got to choose. I want to choose. That's... that's what I want."
A sob breaks from Jesse as he wraps his arms fully around his tiny mate, pulling her close. She slings her arms around his neck and presses her face into his shoulder, crying hard. They hold each other that way for a long time.
"I don't want to lose you, Mids," Jesse whispers, his whole body shaking. "You're...so incredibly important to me."
"You're not losing me," she whispers. "I'll still be family. Right? Would that be okay? I can be family just...not a mate?"
"Of course," he says, tightening his arms, terrified at the thought that she wouldn't be. "Midnight Sinclair. I think...it has a nice ring to it. Family."
Her face bursts into a wide smile, even pressed to his chest. "Yeah, I think I like that," she whispers, nodding.
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Jesse pulls back a little, taking a deep breath, looking his strange, wonderful little mate in the eyes, smoothing a hand over her hair. you've thought about it, Midnight. And it's what you really want. Then...I accept it. Whatever you need.
"Okay,” she whispers, smiling at him through her tears. Just the most...lovely, rich,
warm smile. "Then...I reject you, Jesse Sinclair. I love you, but I reject you."
He stills for a moment and then moans moans, falling forward against her as his wolf howls long and low. Midnight's teeth howls in return before bringing her teeth to their bond and beginning to tear it away. Jesse and Midnight both sob, their bodies shaking in physical pain, their emotions raw and ragged.
"Please," he whispers, his eyes pressed tight shut, groaning against the agony. "Just... leave a little, at the end, all right? So we'll always have a connection. I can't - I can't bear to not have a piece of you -"
She nods, not saying anything, biting her lip. Her wolf obeys, leaving just a thread
of connection at the end - strong and bright and pretty, even as the rest of the bond falls away.
And then it's done.
Jesse groans, letting her go and falling back onto the roof tiles, pressing his hands to his eyes, panting, tears slipping from beneath his palms.
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