Doubts
Thaliana Tangi Dela Vezca
I’m closely guarded now and not allowed to leave my parents’ mansion. Daddy has become strict, and I understand why he’s doing this to me. I don’t want to go against him; his anger has taken a different form now.
When he assured me that he had no intention of meddling with Rozzean’s company, I felt relieved. That’s all I really care about. I don’t want him to be angrier at Rozzean because of what happened to me.
It’s not Rozzean’s fault.
It’s my own carelessness.
“Thaliana, sweety?”
I looked towards my room’s door upon hearing Mommy’s voice. I got up from bed and approached her.
“Mom?”
She smiled at me as I opened the door and saw her.
“You have a visitor.”
Before I could ask who it was, Thes suddenly emerged from the side, my friend. Therese Catalina.
“Tangi!” she exclaimed and hugged me.
“Thes…”
“I’ll leave you two alone, okay? I’ll just bring some snacks up later for you girls.”
I nodded to Mommy and smiled. When Thes entered my room, I closed the door and approached her. She sat on my bed, and I took a seat on my single sofa.
“You silly! Why didn’t you tell me you almost died? What about your kids in my pet house? Oh God, they must be missing you so much.”
I miss them too, but since I can’t go home yet, I can’t take them with me. Besides, they can’t stay in the mansion because Mommy is allergic to cat fur.
“A lot has happened in my life, Thes…”
She raised her eyebrows, “What a lot? You’ve been gone for just over a month on vacation, and a lot has happened? Why? Tell me your story.”
I took a deep breath, and I couldn’t help but get emotional when I remembered Rozzean. I became emotional because of him. I miss him so much, and his smiles whenever he looked at me, but it seems like I won’t see that anymore.
I love him so much, but it’s over… I’ve given up hope that we’ll ever reconcile.
“T-Thes…”
Thes stood up when she saw me crying. She came over and pulled a chair for me to sit in front of her.
“Oh, gosh, should I call Aunt Tathiana? Is something hurting you, Tangi?” she asked.
It hurts… my chest hurts. What happened yesterday was so painful. I can’t breathe when I remember Klari and Rozzean. Until the end, she didn’t want to see me.
“D-Don’t call mom. I-I’m okay…”
Thes handed me a tissue, and then she gently rubbed my back to calm me down. When I stopped crying, I looked at her. I saw concern on my friend’s face.
“Tangi, what happened? I was so worried when I learned from your brother that you got into an accident. What did you do in Tagaytay?”
I wiped my face with the tissue before I spoke.
“The man I love was living there, Thes.”
“W-What? Th-the man you love? L-love? Like, romantic love, Tangi?”
I nodded.
I began to tell her everything that happened. I confessed to her the foolishness I committed-how I didn’t go to Palawan and instead pretended to be a maid at Rozzean’s house. Now, here I am, suffering the consequences of my deceit.
“What the… are you crazy… seriously?” she asked in disbelief.
“Do I look like I’m joking? Would I be crying like this if I were joking?” I asked her.
Thes bit her lower lip and then pinched me on the arm.
“Ouch…”
“That’s wrong! But it’s done! Here you are, suffering!” she said, shaking her head.
I know very well that what I did was wrong, so I don’t blame anyone for what I’m going through now. I am making amends with Rozzean and my father. I felt reassured when Dad told me that he won’t take any action that could jeopardize Rozzean’s company. I also talked to my siblings and pleaded with them not to do anything rash because of what happened to me.
I deserve this pain, especially Rozzean’s anger. I’ve also come to realize that he might not forgive me, but I’m holding on to hope because I love him so much. I’m holding on to hope because I know he loves Tali… m-me.
But now, it seems like it’s really over. The way he spoke about love doesn’t match how deep I thought it was.
“Is he worth it, Tangi? If not, then move on. Your siblings know a lot of handsome guys; maybe you should go on a blind date.”
I pulled Thes’s hair because of what she said. I just noticed it now. Her hair color has changed again. It’s red now. It used to be blonde.
“Ouch, seriously! It’s just friendly advice, don’t overreact.”
“I love Rozzean, and he loves me too-”
“If he loves you, why did he let you suffer just to forgive you?”
She rolled her eyes and sighed in front of me.
“Thes…”Content rights by NôvelDr//ama.Org.
She looked serious now. This woman changes moods so quickly.
“Because for me, based on your stories, it’s enough for me to say that you regret what you did. Your baby boy’s heart should have softened by now, but why involve another woman suddenly? What’s her name? Tari?”
“Klari…”
She raised an eyebrow, “Oh, there’s another persistent girl who can’t move on. She’s a threat to you because she likes your baby boy. Who knows what they’re doing, Tangi.”
Thes’s words made me anxious. Especially since I knew that Klari was there, taking care of Rozzean. Also, Rozzean was allowing her to look after him. That hurt me deeply. A lot.
“T-Thes… please don’t make me overthink.”
“Oh, why? I thought you gave up? I thought you surrendered?”
I bowed my head at her words. That was really my plan. I even returned Rozzean’s ring to start forgetting him. I was hurt so much when I saw him with Klari. What mattered to me at that time was for him to get better and take care of himself. I also told Luther that I wouldn’t try to seek forgiveness from Rozzean anymore because I clearly saw his anger towards me.
But I knew it was impossible, and everything was just words. Rozzean was always on my mind. I couldn’t sleep well because I kept thinking about him last night. I cried a lot because of what happened. I truly love him. So much. That’s why I’m hurting so much right now because even though I said I wouldn’t try to seek his forgiveness anymore, here I am, still hoping that one day we’ll reconcile.
“I-I love him…”
Thes sighed and rubbed her forehead.
“I understand, but, Tangi, stop. Don’t try to go after that man anymore. If he truly loves you, he’ll come to you willingly. I just hope he realizes his mistakes soon.”
“But it’s my fault-”
Thes gave me a stern look.
“You’re still defending him! You know that your efforts to seek Rozzean’s forgiveness are enough, and you know he has already pushed you away too much. Why are you still defending him? Because you love him? Tangi, that Rozzean is blinded by his anger, and you are blinded by your love for him! Haven’t you thought that you’ve done more than enough for a mistake you regret?”
“He loves you so much, right? But just because of one mistake, he’s denying the happiness you both deserve?”
I wiped away the tears that escaped from both my cheeks due to Thes’s words. Her words pierced through my heart.
“If he really loves you, then he will understand what you did. Especially since you’ve shown sincere remorse for deceiving him. You entered his house and pretended to be a maid. He fell for you. You even said he loves you so much. He even proposed and gave you a ring, which means he’s really serious about you.”