Me After Meeting You

“Uhuk … uhuk.” Amber started coughing violently and hung up reflexively.

“What’s wrong?” Calvin asked, worried.

Amber shook her hands, covered her mouth, and coughed for quite a while. It wasn’t until she nearly reached the point of crying that the alarm and shock from Ian’s words finally settled down.

Despite her being a psychiatrist, she wasn’t too familiar with Ian’s way of thinking, and was still occasionally caught off-guard by his actions and words.

“Nothing’s wrong, is there?” Calvin asked again.

“No, everything’s fine,” Amber replied. “Ian said that he needed to see me for something.”

“Then … should I leave?”

“Probably.” Amber couldn’t keep him here, because she really wasn’t sure what would happen after Ian arrived. From her limited knowledge of him, if he really wanted to kiss her, then he would completely disregard whether or not other people were present.

Pretending not to notice the disappointment in Calvin’s eyes, Amber stood up and walked him outside the restaurant.

“I’ll wait for him here. You can leave first.”

Calvin nodded and got into his own car, sitting there for quite a while before finally starting the engine and leaving.

It was already winter; at night, it was as cold as ice. The car window wasn’t closed, and blustering gusts of wind blew in from the night air, cold and chilling.

Calvin didn’t feel much of anything evenwhile half frozen. He looked at the rearview mirror and saw Amber hugging her shoulders, standing there without moving.

The wind lightly lifted one corner of her scarfin to the air, as if it were a butterfly tied to her back.

That delicate butterfly scintillated with a colorful light. When he was overseas, that hue had been the shore where his dreams would have taken off; however, when here turned, he be latedly found that it had long since merged with the city, becoming a rainbow arc that he might never be able to touch.

***

Ian arrived quite a while after Calvin left. He had driven the car himself, refused Amber’s offer to find a place to talk, and directly asked her to get into the car.

After she got into the car, he turned around to look at her. His gaze was fixed upon her lips, as if he were considering how best to kiss her.

Amber found the scene strangely funny. Before he could do anything, she said, “Can I ask, why do you want to kiss me?”

She didn’t feel all too awkward or taken advantage of. After all, he was a patient, and you couldn’t use standard logic to evaluate their actions.

Having drawn a line in the sand, Amber was very calm even in this situation.

Ian behaved very coolly, as always. “I’ll kiss you if I want to; wasn’t that what you said?” Impatiently, he then commanded her, “Come over here.”

But of course, Amber wasn’t just going to go over. She treated him as if he were a familiar friend that she had conversations with, and, as if giving advice, said, “Mr. Axton, I truly think that you should go read some romance novels. A kiss doesn’t take place just because you want it to. If a man and woman truly love each other, then they don’t have to kiss to demonstrate it; if they don’t love each other, then even kissing won’t make a difference.” She had always thought that love was a basic act that everyone instinctively understood, but after seeing Ian, she finally understood that some people naturally lacked love. And as a result, naturally could not love.

So, with regards to kissing, the psychiatrist part of her felt that it was her responsibility to correct him. “Any intimate action that doesn’t have love as its foundation is immoral. So, please don’t do this in the future anymore, okay?”

“Love?” His forehead slowly scrunched up, even as his expression remained calm. “Why do we have to make it so complicated? Don’t we already have a contract?”

Amber had no words to respond to him, and could only try to persuade him further. “Your thoughts are wrong. Love is one of the most beautiful emotions that man kind has. You should try it out.”

“I don’t need love.” Ian snorted ather words disdainfully, and then looked straight at her. “Don’t expect to receive anylove from me. The only reason I want to kiss you is because I want to.”

In this world, there really wasn’t much that Ian desired, and it wasn’t clear whether the fact that Amber had sparked this desire in him was a blessing or a curse.

But right now, Amber hadn’t realized that she had ‘gotten lucky’, and she was trying her hardest to find the right words to convince him otherwise. But disregarding her feelings, Ian was growing impatient, and while she was still unprepared, he suddenly leaned over, turned her face towards his, and lightly kissed her.

More accurately, he lightly stuck his lips, on to hers.

After a brief moment of panic, Amber quickly relaxed. Without making a fuss or unnecessary motions, she just stood there, silently waiting.

Before too long, Ian let go of her.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

He sat down two palms lengths from her, and looked at her, his eyes clear and bright.

Amber didn’t move at all. She even smiled as she asked, “How does it feel?”

“Like nothing.”

“That’s normal, and it’s because you don’t love me. Only when we love each other will we feel our hearts race and our blood warm when we kiss.”

“I’ve never loved anyone.” Ian’s voice was collected as he continued, “But I like kissing you.”

Amber didn’t have a sufficient enough understanding of his illness to realize what ‘liking’ meant to the present him.

But she instinctively turned serious as she explained, “I’m very honored, but I would still like to interact more in different ways before we kiss again. As you know, we haven’t known each other for very long, and even if we have a contract, we’re still essentially strangers.”

Ian didn’t deny her words. Amber felt somewhat relieved, and smiled as she asked, “Alright. Now, can you tell me why you want to kiss me?”

Ian turned his head around and looked her in the eye.

Why? It was because he couldn’t sleep, because life was boring, because he wanted to find something to do, and kissing her was about the only thing that he could think of. So he had come to find her.

But Ian didn’t want to reveal these thoughts to anyone. He opened the window, lit a cigarette, in haled, and only then, with some amount of distaste, said, “You have too many ‘whys.'”

Amber made a brief choking sound.

As she observed the cold expression on the side of his face, she felt that she couldn’t break so easily under his lack of emotion. Thus, she pretended to not understand his words, and continued to harangue him. “Am I too curious? Can you tell me why you think so? You need a reason to think so, surely. For example, back in the hospital, you were jealous that ….”