Chapter 169: I Needed To Hold Her
Gabriel's POV
I gently pulled the duvet down and slipped my arms around her, lifting her against me. Her body was burning, her skin clammy, her breath shallow. She didn't stir- just shivered helplessly in my arms, trapped in some fever dream.
"Clairessa." My voice cracked as I shook her gently, trying to coax her into consciousness.
"Hey, open your eyes... please."
No response.
"It's me. Gabriel. I'm here," I whispered, lifting her slowly into my arms and brushing damp strands of hair from her face.
Her eyelids fluttered, and for a moment, they opened. Our eyes met just briefly. She gave the faintest smile, soft and dazed-then slipped back into the fever, her eyes shutting again.
Fuck.
I had to do something.
I lowered her carefully onto the mattress and rushed to the bathroom, soaking a towel in warm water.
I came back and laid it across her forehead, holding it there, hoping to ease the heat. After a minute or two, I replaced it with a fresh one, trying to bring her temperature down.
But I knew that wouldn't be enough.
The cold had settled deep into her bones, and no towel could fix that.
She needed warmth-real, penetrating heat that reached from the inside out.
I hurried back to the bathroom and ran a hot bath, steam rising steadily as the tub filled.
By the time I returned, she was still trembling, her breathing shallow.
I lifted her into a seated position, her back resting gently against the headboard. Then I undressed her carefully-removing the sweater, then her socks-until only her joggers remained.
My fingers traced the edge of the elastic waistband of her sweatpants, as though contemplating whether to remove them or not. Not because I didn't know what I was doing, but because I was trying to stop the fire sparking in my chest. I knew exactly how my body would react to seeing her naked.
I hastily pulled down the heavy fabric, intending to look away-just to get her into the bath. Nothing more.
But the moment I realized she wasn't wearing anything underneath, heat surged through my body.
My eyes betrayed me, dragging over the swell of her breasts, lingering too long on the delicate V between her legs.
God... this wasn't about me. It was about her. She needed care, not desire.
It took every ounce of strength to tear my gaze away from her flawless, breathtaking body... even though every nerve in me burned to keep looking.
I lifted her into my arms and carried her into the bathroom.
Once inside, I gently lowered her into the steaming tub, cradling her until her body sank into the water.
She winced, then relaxed, like her body instinctively recognized it needed the heat.
I placed a towel behind her head for support, then dipped a smaller cloth into the bath.
Carefully, I ran it over her skin-her arms, her shoulders, her neck-trying to coax the warmth back into her. Her skin was soft. Alarmingly cold.
When I brought the towel to her face, I wiped away the sweat, tracing the delicate curve of her cheek.
Then I paused-unable to stop myself from admiring how beautiful and innocent she looked, even now, weak with fever.
Drawn in, I let my thumb graze the curve of her lips. They were red, soft, and familiar.
I desperately wanted to kiss the cold away-to make her forget the storm, the pain, the fever-but I didn't. I couldn't.
My gaze lingered for a moment-her skin flushed, half-submerged in water, every inch of her still breathtaking.
I dragged the cloth across the center of her chest, then moved lower, passing between the gentle rise of her breasts.
Desire surged through me as I watched her nipples harden-whether from the contrast of heat and chill, or the brush of my touch, I didn't know.
But it stirred something dark inside me. Something I fought to suppress.
I forced my gaze and focus downward, guiding the towel over her flat stomach, reminding myself why I was here.
This wasn't about what I wanted. It couldn't be.
Gently, I massaged the warmth into her skin-pressing heat deeper into her
muscles, into her bones-trying to chase away the fever.
But then... my hands trailed lower, gliding along her inner thighs.
Every part of her was perfect.
And painfully vulnerable.noveldrama
Fuck... I had to stop.
Now.
Focus, Gabriel.
This wasn't about desire. This was about keeping her alive.
Then her voice, soft and weak, pulled me out of my thoughts.
"Gabriel..."
My name on her lips almost undid me.
"I'm here," I said, cupping her face, eyes locked on hers. "How do you feel?"
"I... feel better," she whispered. Then her eyes fluttered shut again.
That was enough.
Good. Her body wasn't shaking like before. The fever was still there, but not as aggressive. The water was working.
I reached in, lifted her from the tub
and wrapped her in a towel. Gently, I dried her off, then dressed her in the thick
ater and pants I'd laid out
on the bed earlier.
Once she was warm and dry, I tucked her beneath the duvet, pulling it up to her
chin-just like she had done for herself before.
I leaned in, brushing my hand across her cheek.
"I'll be right back," I whispered near her ear.
She gave the faintest nod, barely there-but enough.
Then I turned toward the door—but my eyes stayed on her a second longer.
Even now-feverish, fragile, barely holding on-she was still the only thing that made sense in my world.
In the kitchen, made hot
peppermint tea and brought it back.
I helped her sit up, steadying her as she drank every last drop. Then I handed her the aspirin and didn't look away until I was sure she swallowed it.
When I was certain she was warm, covered, and breathing evenly, I rose to leave. But I couldn't stop myself knew I shouldn't give in to the feeling-not now, not when
everything inside me was on the verge of exploding.
Still, I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead-a soft, lingering kiss, an affection I had no business offering.
I started to pull away, but then I felt her fingers curl around my wrist. Weak... but
certain.
She didn't open her eyes. Didn't say a word.
But she didn't let go.
And neither could I.
Not tonight-not when she was this vulnerable.
What if it spiked in the middle of the night?
What if she woke up scared, disoriented... or worse-and I wasn't here?
So I climbed into bed beside her, trying to keep some distance-still clinging to what little control I had left.
But Clairessa shifted, pressing her small frame against my chest like she was searching for safety, like she was afraid I'd disappear.
And God... the way she held onto me-she needed me.
And maybe, selfishly, I needed her too.
I gave in, wrapping my arms around her, pulling her closer, pressing my warmth
into her like I could somehow drive the fever out and make everything okay.
Her eyes fluttered open, dazed with fever, just long enough to find mine.
"I love you," she murmured, her voice soft and broken. “I'm sorry... for everything."
I didn't know what to say.
My heart ached. My mind went blank. I didn't know how to feel-only that her
words cracked something open in me.
So I just held her. Tightly. Gently. Like she might disappear if I let go.
And for the first time in what felt like forever, the chaos in my mind went still.
Maybe I needed this too.
Just one night, I told myself, listening to the slow, steady rhythm of her heart. And as sleep finally pulled me under, for the first time in a long time... I felt at peace.
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