Drowning Him In Regret

When Ewan spoke, no one dared to go against him.

I tried opening my mouth a few times, but every time, that cold, commanding stare of his made me shut right up.

In the end, Jude and I were directly sent back to our room.

Actually, Jude and I always had a room at the Carson estate, though we'd barely stayed in it.

And Jude always brought some women home instead. So I never liked coming back.

Seeing the room still decorated in my style, I felt a lump in my throat. 'So this is what people mean when they say everything's changed, even if the things stay the same.

was so happy when we got married. And now? That same joy just makes the pain worse!'

When I first came here, I really thought the Carson family had accepted me as one of their own. Turned out reality had just slapped me right in the face.

I took a shower and went straight to bed. A message popped up from the nurse, reminding me I had chemo tomorrow.

Thinking about the side effects last time, I texted Casey and asked her to pick me up tomorrow.

Casey: [Ada, you guys went back to Carson estate? Is it because of the rumors online?]

Casey: [Don't worry, I'll be there first thing tomorrow. I won't let them bully you!]

I couldn't help but laugh at the sticker she sent along with that.

And at the same time, my chest felt warm. Ever since I came back to the country, she'd been the one looking out for me.

Jude walked out of the bathroom, freshly showered, then coughed loudly. "Who're you texting that's got you smiling like that?"

I rolled over and turned my back to him.

Everything here was perfect. The only downside to this room? Just one bed.

Jude looked annoyed. He jabbed at my shoulder. "Why'd you cut your hair? It doesn't look good."

"None of your damn business. Not like I cut it for you." I flicked my shoulder to shake him off and scooted further to the edge.

Jude just sat there behind me like he was trying to burn a hole in my back with his eyes.

"Tch-are you gonna sleep or not? I'm turning off the lights." I started reaching for the remote when he suddenly grabbed my wrist,

Jude eased up a bit, like he was scared of hurting me, but he didn't let go.

Jude said, "Ada, stop with the drama. If you behave, you'll always be Mrs. Carson,"

I froze, staring at him, totally confused.

Jude looked off to the side, let go of my hand, and muttered, "You're Mrs. Carson. No one can take that from you.

"I'll buy you all the clothes you want. Jewelry/bags they're all yours."

Jude actually blushed while saying that, like the words were hard to get out.

He really did seem like the Jude I used to know-but only kind ofnoveldrama

28%

+15

Back then, Jude would never say something like "stop the drama." He'd just tell me not to get mad, that it was all his fault.

Jude would say getting angry would make me age faster. That he didn't care if I got old, he just didn't want me feeling like I wasn't beautiful.

I took a deep breath, pushed all those sweet memories down, and forced myself to stay calm.

"Jude," I asked, "do you remember where the jewelry Vivian took came from?"

Jude looked confused. I knew it. He had no idea.

I kept going. "That necklace she wore? You gave it to me the day we got our marriage certificate. You said the sky was super blue that day-just like that sapphire.

"Those two rings in her hand? One was a wedding anniversary gift from you, and the other was the matching couple ring I bought the week after we got married.

"And those earrings? You had them custom made for my first birthday after I came back to the country."

Jude opened his mouth, eyes full of guilt. Eventually, he mumbled, "I'm sorry."

I waved him off. "It's fine, really. You don't remember, and I don't care anymore. Isn't that kind of perfect?"

Jude tooked freaked out, shaking his head over and over. I didn't want to keep talking. I turned my back on him again.

Jude must've been really shaken, because I heard him sniffle.

But what was there to cry about? I was the one who should've been crying. I just didn't have the tears left for him anymore.

About ten minutes passed. Just as I was about to reach for the remote again, Jude grabbed my hand.

Jude said, "If you don't like them anymore, I'll buy you new ones. Just don't-"

"Jude, why don't you get it yet?" I turned to face him, looking straight into his eyes with zero emotion.

I continued, "You don't remember what they meant, and I don't want jewelry that someone else has touched. That makes it worthless.

"If you really feel bad, just convert the value and wire it to my account." With that, I snatched the remote, turned off the lights, then added, "Make sure to write that it's a voluntary gift. Don't come back later saying it was all your money."

I could hear his breathing grow heavier, but I didn't care. I needed sleep for tomorrow's chemo.

Unfortunately, the moment Jude lay down beside me, I couldn't sleep anymore. His breathing slowly evened out right behind me, and just like that, was wide awake.

Pain started creeping up in my chest, and I wasn't sure if it was from the surgery or just heartache.

I slipped out of bed quietly. When I opened my bag, frealized I hadn't brought any painkillers with me.

If I went out, Jude would definitely wake up. Worse, he might call the maid, and then the whole house would know.

Clutching my chest tightly, I sat on the sofa nearby. I was so thin now that I could curl up and just barely fit.

Then I spent the whole night curled up there, toughing out the pain until I finally drifted off in a foggy daze.