Chapter 71
I slammed my fist into the punching bag, feeling a surge of anger coursing through my veins. I hit the bag again and again and again until my knuckles felt sore. I was not weating any boxing gloves because I needed to feel something other than the anger and the embarrassment that I was drowning in and the punches were not helping at all.This is property © of NôvelDrama.Org.
“Why did I let myself care about her?” I growled, my voice echoing off the walls of the palace gym. If I had not allowed myself get interested in any thing that had to do with her, if I had just seen for all that she was, a maid, things would be so much better and I would not be trying to stabilise my emotions by hitting a punching bag and watching the skin peel off my knuckles
I wiped the sweat off my forehead and tried to steady my breath, the bottle of water that I had taken out of the mini fridge called to me but I was determined not to have anything to drink or eat until I had managed to get her out of my system.
I did not deserve food or drinks, how could I even think of it right now when I was going through a major crisis? It was more serious than I presumed it to be and I had ignored it for far way no long and now it was starting to bite me in the a**. could not f***g think straight because of her and now I was going through hoops to save her, someone that I ought to have killed? What sort of sorcery was this?!
The fact that I wanted to spend time with her was what annoyed me the most. How could I want to spend time with her? She was nothing but a s***e, a s**e whose former mate was the cause of my parent’s death. Could I really stoop any lower than this? Could I go any lower?! Loving a sl**e?!!
I thought back to the day I rescued Kira, how my wolf had instantly connected with her. If only I had acted right then, if only I had killed her and gotten it over with, I would be free from all the s**t that I was going through. I would not be battling with emotions that I didn’t want to be a part of. I hated myself for ignoring the signs that my wolf gave me.
I was warned but I had pushed those feelings aside, telling myself I didn’t need a mate. I was good on my own. I was doing fine, everything in my life was going smoothly and even if I wanted to settle down with a woman, it was going to be one of my own choosing that I would be able to pick according to my needs and Mara seemed to fit the role perfectly until now.
Why did I care about the sex? Why did I care about the way she smiled? The sound of her voice, the way she smelled, the way she walked. I knew the sound her laugh and it echoed in my head whenever I tried to sleep. I was so interested in everything she said and when she was quiet, I was wondering what she was thinking. It felt like I was going crazy trying to figure her out and I thought it was something that I could easily get over but I could not and now I had competition. I hadn’t figured her out and f***g had competition
Now, my brother Brax was subtly hinting that he was interested in her, and it was driving me mad. I didn’t know whether to back out or fight for her or if she was even worth fighting for to begin with.
“I’m such a fool,” I muttered, punching the bag again. “I told Brax to stay away from her, but here I am, caring about her like a lovesick pup
1 paced back and forth in front of the mirror, my reflection staring back at me with a scowl. “I can reject her as my mate,” I told myself. “My wolf might be mad, but it’ll get over it. I’ll get over it.”
But the thought of rejecting her didn’t sit right with me. It made me feel annoyed, like I was losing something precious. How was it something precious if it was a **e? I felt like I was dwelling on the fact that she was a sl***e, (which I made her to be) so I would be able to get over my feelings for her but I still was not able to. She was still the only thing I could think of every time I closed my eyes and the thought of her with someone else did not sit well with me one bit.
I couldn’t shake the image of Brax and Kira together, their faces close, their bodies touching. It consumed me with rage. How good they looked together was even more annoying because I was not the only one that saw it. I overheard some of the maids whispering about how they thought something was going on between them and how good they looked together.
I thought about all the times I had seen them together, laughing and smiling. I thought about how Brax had rescued her from me the very day he got back to the pack, how he had been by her side ever since. I wondered if that was when his attraction for her began. I wondered if that was what should have avoided instead and not falling in love with her in the first place.
“I need to stay away from her.” I told myself, my voice firm “Shes affecting me too much, and that’s not good I continued. to work out my muscles flexing as I punched and kicked the bag Sweat dripped down my face, but I didn’t stop until I was exhausted I couldn’t stop until I wore myself out. If I wore myself out completely then I wouldn’t have to think of her, she would be nothing to me if I couldn’t even feel my own limbs.
As I walked back to my bedroom. I felt a sense of resolve. I would stay away from Kira, no matter how much my wolf protested I couldn’t let myself get caught up in these feelings again. If Brax was going to have her then let him have her, I could not stand the thought of having to compete with it own bother for a s***e. It would be too much of a shame, for both me and the entire pack. I would be a disgrace to my f***g family and that was not something that I wanted. At all.
But as I lay in bed, my mind wandered back to her. I couldn’t shake the thought of her smile, her laugh, her sparkling eyes. groaned, rolling over onto my side, my muscles hunting like hell As soon as I got comfortable again, she snuck into my mind and took over the entire place
Her smell was amazing, her hair was gorgeous, I had never thought that the colour brown was an interesting colour until I saw her eyes. I had seen brown eyes all the time or had I? I was not the type to pay attention to the colour of eyes but I knew hers. I knew the dress that matched the colour of her eyes.
If I saw something that slightly resembled them, I instantly thought of her. Everything reminded me of her like I was going insane and sometimes I even heard her voice when she wasn’t there.
“Why can’t just forget about her?” I whispered into the darkness. I thought about all the times I had tried to push her away. all the times I had told myself I didn’t need her. But deep down, I knew I couldn’t. Kira had gotten under my skin, and I didn’t know how to get her out.
I tossed and turned, my mind racing with thoughts of her. I finally fell asleep, but my dreams were filled with images of Kira and Brax together.
I woke up with a scream, my heart racing. I was soaked in sweat and I was so annoyed that I was bothered. Why would I even have a dream like that?!
I knew I had to stay away from her, but I also knew it wouldn’t be easy. My wolf was drawn to her, and I couldn’t deny the connection we shared.
1 got out of bed and began to pace back and forth in my room. I had to find a way to get over her, to move on with my life. But every time I thought about her, my heart ached. I knew I had to make a choice, to either embrace my feelings or reject them once and for all. But I didn’t know which way to go.